why do some people improve and others don't

Sometimes we step on the scale, only to find that we do not like what it tells us, so we do the only logical thing – step on the scale again. In your closed, windowless bathroom, maybe there was a slight wind factor. Perhaps you could breathe deeply and try stepping on again. Anyone else…

Why is our intuition important when negotiating? Intuition seems like magic – you know something, without consciously knowing why you know it. Some refer to it as a “gut” feeling. But it’s not magic, nor is it your gut; it’s a combination of knowledge, experience and being in the “zone”. In the case of negotiating…

Deliver Bad News

It’s an unpleasant, but inevitable, part of life and negotiating; sometimes you just have to deliver bad news.  Perhaps you have to let your supplier know you are not going to meet your volume expectations this quarter.  Or they lost the bid.  You might need to tell your client that the project is going over…

Flexibility When Negotiating

In this blog, we’ve discussed many different negotiating strategies (MESO, Hardball, Framing, and even when you shouldn’t negotiate.). But you can’t use all of them all the time. You shouldn’t even use ONE of them all the time. You have to have flexibility when negotiating. Think about this. When choosing a restaurant to go out…

Help them write their victory speech

You have all the leverage…and your counterpart knows it. You also have a relationship with them that you not only want to keep, but to nurture. What negotiation strategy will satisfy your counterpart even when you have more leverage, and therefore will achieve a more robust target? To paraphrase William Ury, co-founder of Harvard’s Program…

win-win isn't always the way

Nothing annoys me more in a negotiation than someone who overuses “partner” and “win-win” in the first five minutes. Once I stop myself from rolling my eyes at them, I ask them to define those terms. What do you mean by “partner”? Can you give me examples of other negotiations where you have succeeded at…

Balancing Stones MESO

How do you get the kids to eat vegetables? If your answer was “forceful throat stuffing,” you’ve come to the wrong place. However, if your answer had to do with providing options or layering tasty sauces on top, you might already be an expert at MESO (Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offer). When you include more than one…

Negotiation process

When we employ negotiation tactics, we often come to the frustrating realization that other people are equally as complex, motivated, and human as we are. Perhaps you discover this truth most often during spousal bickering. Maybe your boss shakes his head chronically while you are negotiating a salary raise. You might even be familiar with…

rapport

The “flavor of the decade” in the world of negotiation style research and training is to build rapport. It’s often the answer to every negotiation challenge that a negotiation consultant is asked. Why is rapport so essential? The reasoning looks like this: If you build rapport, your counterpart will trust you. If they trust you, they…

I have a client that is enthusiastic by nature. A new travel mug inspires a happy dance from him. Lucky for his team, this translates to his enthusiasm about the negotiation mistakes his staff makes. Yes, that was not a mistake, their mistakes. He is also happy about their successes… the only thing that makes…

Do you wonder if you are a decent negotiator or if you are not? How can you tell? Look at the outcomes of the person you negotiate with most in your life – yourself –  and that will give you a clue. Your negotiation tactics are strengthened by your own self-perception. Ask yourself, in your…

Fascinating TEDx Talk debunking the widely held beliefs that women are not good negotiators.

How to Handle Dishonesty Across the Table From time to time, we all come across dishonest negotiators, and it is never a pleasant experience. I will discuss potential signs that your counter-part in the negotiation process is being deceptive and what to do. There are many reasons why people are dishonest. And the range is…

reflective negotiator image

You prepare for days for an upcoming negotiation. You size up your counterpart six ways ‘til Sunday, you crunch the numbers, and you walk in full of confidence, and then … you walk out with your tail between your legs. It does not go well and you slink back to the office in defeat. What…

The friendly, “let’s have a bite to eat and chat” negotiation days are, for the most part, sadly over. Unless you are negotiating in the Middle-East, South America or other relationship-based cultures, casual, relaxed negotiations are a thing of the past. It’s down to business. Before our counterpart even sits down, we are asking for…

My mother’s idea of fun was negotiating with the Fuller Brush man (Generation X, Google it) or the gas station attendant. Even if she only got 10 gallons of gas, and not the 18 required to earn the drinking glass, she wanted it. Remember that? My house was oddly un-American, as my mother did not…

Person A: “There is a 25% chance we won’t meet the volume expectations this year”. Person B: “There is a 75% chance we will meet the volume expectations this year”. The way we frame a data can have a huge effect on our counterpart’s response to the information we are using to support our offers…

Culturally, Americans have always under-appreciated negotiating tactics – because we always thought that we didn’t need them. If we didn’t like K-Mart, we went to Wal-Mart and K-Mart got the message without a word being spoken. We have been so rich in choices, opportunities and resources that we have been known to shop without even…